Essential Guy Code

  1. Player 1 belongs to whoever owns the console.
  2. If a bro dies while lifting, put more weight on the bar, then call 911.
  3. Shotgun is a responsibility, not a privilege. If you are sitting up front, you’re not a passenger, you’re the co-pilot.
  4. Don’t throw a frient under the bus to impress someone else. Ever!
  5. When offered a beer, accept it even if it’s not “Your Brand”. Your favorite brand of beer is “Free Beer”. Your second favorite is “Cold Beer”.
  6. If a friend with a truck assists you with moving, you shall reciprocate with a full tank of gas. Beer and pizza are also accepted.
  7. If your bro dies, delete his Internet history.
  8. Be polite around your buddy’s lady friend, but when he asks what you think, lay the truth on him like a ten ton slab.
  9. Unless it’s super busy, there must always be a one urinal buffer between men in a restroom.
  10. If you shake with a limp hand, you are acknowledging non-verbally to me that I’m in charge, even if we’ve just met.
  11. If you and a buddy are having a threesom with a girl, your can not look each other in the eyes. But if you happen to accidentally look each other in the eyes, you have to high five!
  12. The three-person concept of watching adult videos: One guy watching adult vidoes is cool. Three guys watching adult vidoes is cool. Two guys watching adult videos, not cool.
  13. All groceries go from the vehicle to the house in one trip. It does not matter how many bags there are.
  14. Under no circumstances may two man share an umbrella.
  15. There are specific rules to the “Head Nod” when greeting another male. If you know him you nod up, if you don’t know him you then nod down.
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