Friends are the Best. They know how crazy you are, yet still want to be seen in Public with you.

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a Prostitute for a hug.

After Tuesday, even the Calendar goes WTF

With Great Power comes Great Electricity Bill.

Things you should know, ladies…!

Ok, now I’m going to talk to you ladies.

Here are some interesting stuff we guys think you should know about us:

  1. You should never end an argument with us with the word “Fine”.
    “Fine” is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
  2. Honesty is good. But, do you really want to ask questions you would not like the answers to?
  3. Provoking a Large and Dangerous-Looking guy…Not Cool!
  4. If you don’t like your sex-life, if you want a better sex-life, Don’t…I repeat DO NOT EVER FAKE AN ORGASM!
    How else are we supposed to know we messed up?
  5. We guys have troubles with the few colors we know, as simple as they are. Don’t make it more difficult for us: Grape is not a color..not for us!
  6. If you want us to be polite enough to leave the toilet seat down for you, be generous enough to leave it up for us.
    You need it down. We need it up.
  7. No…the middle of the Game is not the time for you to be turned on. Wait until the half-time.
  8. If you don’t like “This”, talk about “This” now. Don’t wait 3 years later to bring it up. We already forgot about that crap.
  9. If you called us on our cell phone and we didn’t pick up, you can leave a message (if urgent), or text. But, don’t ever ever call, text and leave a message all together (and seven  times in a row).
    Not Cool…!
  10. We can’t read Minds. Don’t expect us to. If you want something, or have something to say…say it or remain silent forever.    🙂
  11. If you’re thinking “No”…just say “No”. Don’t say “Yes” and expect us to think “No”.

These are some of the things I thought you should know about. More shall come on another day…!

🙂

Bro Code 2.0

 

I know, I know, you’ve probably heard all of this before. But, this is not about me telling you anything…really. This is the Upgraded version of the Bro Code…and this one has a particular focus.

These are some of the “Don’ts” of the Bro Code…something that is extremely and entirely for all Bros. So, if you don’t consider yourself a bro, this is probably not for you. (I think the “non-bros” would agree with me on that one).

Men

That’s the first one…and, I’m not quite sure that is too Bro, do you?

Here is another one

Men 2

Now, that is definitely not Bro material, right?

Here is something else:

Men 3

Now, unless it’s a girlfriend he’s talking to, I’m not quite sure this is bro stuff.

Men 4

This better be a Girl texting him. If not, then…Bruh…Bruh…come on, bruh!

Men 5

This one seems inoffensive enough, right? Unless, of course, they’re watching porn. (See the first version of the Bro Code “The Essential Guy Code” for more on this one).

Men 6

Should I even say anything here…? Quite Obvious, right?

Anyhow, I thought I’d share these with you so that (for those of you who do not know) you can know what’s not “bro-type”.

I heard sex was like a gas station. Sometimes you have full service. Sometimes you got to ask for service. And sometimes you got to just go with self-service.

A Few Words of Wisdom for You

Between Genius and Madness, there is a little something called “Wisdom”. And since, I’m right in the middle of them, I do occasionally come up with a few useful stuffs.

Here are some rules for you people:

  1. Don’t ever, I repeat, DON’T EVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN. You see people, we guys have a tendency to make sense. We need to use logic. And like the wise guys said, A woman is not going to let a little something like “Sense” mess up her argument.
  2. Don’t ever argue with a stupid person. You might end up looking more stupid.
    PS. If he/she looks stupid, chances are, he/she probably is
  3. Don’t ever go home without calling first.
    Sure, you trust her…and she probably won’t do anything wrong. But, do you really want to tempt fate? They are things that are better left unknown. So, before leaving work: CALL! Say you’re on your way.
  4. Don’t ever let your friends drink more than they can handle. Of course, if it’s not going to be your responsibility to deal with them afterward, then, so be it. But, if you know you’re gonna have to deal with the headache that comes after, don’t let them drink too much. (That comes as a personal Experience)
  5. Don’t choose anything you know you can’t handle the outcome of. If your girl says “Don’t or I’ll…”, if you know you can’t deal with what comes after “I’ll…”, then DON’T! It’s that simple, guys.
    But, just so that you can really capture what I’m saying, I will leave you with that short video. It should really put things into perspective for you.

    Directed and Produced by Juhahn JonesWhen woman show you the REAL Reason why they’re the Boss in the Relationship.󾌯LoL Ladies TAG someone if y’all flexed on Bae like this B4!󾌩 @Margarita_larue

    Posted by Juhahn Jones on Sunday, January 17, 2016

  6. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT EVER LIE ON YOUR WEENIE!
    Your Weenie is your best friend, and if it hasn’t done something, there should be no reason to lie about it. This is not a good thing to do if you expect to some day become Pope. Have you noticed that all popes have a weenie? You need to be on good terms with your weenie if you expect to be Pope.
  7. Please…there is nothing victorious about your sex life. She might be loud and everything, but that does not mean you’re doing anything. In fact, chances are, you’re not doing crap….nothing other than loosing Energy.

These, my friends, are my words of Wisdom to you.

It’s okay to say “Fuck”

I know some people find it quite wrong to use the word “Fuck”. But, I’m here to tell you that it’ okay to use the word, as long as you’re not being an arse with it.  Then again, if that’s the case, it’s your “fucking” problem! (See what I did there?)

Anyhow, I’m not the only who thinks that. The word in itself is almost Magical. It’s a multi-purpose word. As an example, you can use to show excitement: “Fuck yeah!”

But, don’t take my word for it. Here is the take of Spiritual Teacher OSHO on the word:

After listening to the wise guy, is your perception still the same about the word?

If so, it’s okay. I don’t know if that mean anything to you, but it can also be used for a good meditation.

Matter of fact, your wellness is my concern…to the point that I have saved you the trouble of looking for that type of meditation.

Here is an example right here:

After practicing that meditation, I’m sure your perception of Reality and the word “Fuck” should change.

Now, in case you usually use the word “Fuck” without being an arse about it, yet still get the weird look, you can still use that simple meditation to let go. Don’t let anything hold you down.

On the other hand, if you’re being an arse with using that magical word,  (again) it’s your fucking problem. Just don’t complain when you get the look.

With that being said, enjoy yourself and be safe!

By the way, “How the fuck are you today?”

It’s all about Perspective

In human relations, perspective tends to play a huge part. Not understanding that may lead to quite a few unnecessary wrong doings.
So that I can make what I’m saying a little bit clearer, let me entertain you with a story:

Don’t ask me more about him, but there was this Doctor in Psychiatry named “Waltzlavick”. He was expected in a certain Hospital..perhaps, as a new staff member. At his arrival, he noticed this young girl who, in his mind, had to be the secretary, and approached her saying,

“I am Waltzlavick”.

He was hoping that she would know who he is, since they’re supposed to be expecting him, and do the necessary. However, her reply was,

“I didn’t say you were”.

Now, of course, he’s thinking she might be a patient who, somehow, escaped and nobody in the staff has noticed that yet, So he decided to proceed gently and said,

“Well, I am…I am!” (all the while hoping that she’s not crazy).

But, she again came up with a rather strange reply. She said,

“Well, why did you say you’re not?”.

Now, to him, it’s confirmed. She is definitely not in her right mind. However, little did he know that all this time, she was actually thinking the same thing about him too. For, here is how she perceived what just happened: A strange guy approached her with a rather strange statement,

“I am NOT slavic”.

Of course, working there for a while now, she knows that patients in psychiatry often have this kind of behavior. They are delusional and paranoid. But she can’t be sure. She has to proceed carefully. So, she said,

“I didn’t say you were” (hoping the guy would have a more consistent reply, proving he’s not crazy after all).

But unfortunately, the guy came up with an even stranger reply,

“But, I am…I am!”

Now, it’s confirmed. He is definitely a Paranoid Schizophrenic. He’s definitely suffering from some kind of delusion. Thus, she said,

“Well, why did you say you’re not?”

So, here we have two people seemingly communicating, yet not having the slightest idea of what’s really going on, all due to the problem of perception.
Moral of the story: Don’t be an arse when dealing people. If you’re thinking somebody’s crazy, chances are, he or she is thinking the same about you…!
Now, if you’re interested in learning more about how we wrongly perceive our Reality, I suggest “Quantum Psychology” by Robert Anton Wilson.
Have fun..and remember: Don’t be an Arse!