Eating bananas in public

Bananas: The delicious yellow fruit that share 50% DNA with us human. A fruit that is high in potassium (K) that genuinely tastes really good. However, there’s a catch: Bananas are the most phallic looking fruits on this planet.

George Carlin once said, “Men, how can you look at a woman eating a banana and not think of a blowjob?” Well, unfortunately, he’s right. When women eat bananas, men think dirty thoughts as a reflex. It’s not that we’re perverted people, it’s our nature and we just can’t help it.

While it is said to be sexy when a women eat bananas in public, it is quite the opposite when it comes to men. They leave themselves open to lewd remarks from their friends and co-workers. Most men are very insecure about their sexuality, which women love to complain about. Eating a banana in public does not help this matter at all. As a result, many men are not consuming as many bananas as they should.

The following actions may be taken to allow men and women in general to eat bananas without feeling dirty or leaving themselves vulnerable to ridicule.

The Dont’s

  • Never close your eyes!
  • Never make eye contact!
  • Never put the entire banana into your mouth at any time!
  • Never ever put your hand behind your head while eating a banana!
  • Never eat a banana with less than two people in a room!

The Do’s

  • Whenever possible, cut up the banana and mix it with cereal or anything you can fine that is not a banana.
  • If on the run and must eat it by itself, hold the banana from the middle. Holding it from either end looks funny and suggestive. And please keep the peel on.
  • Peel the banana, and break off a small piece and put it in your mouth. Finish the banana a piece at a time.
  • Get a banana drink instead, a yogurt, a shake or a smoothie.

Hopefully these rules will prevent countless men and women from being the subject of inappropriate thoughts and gestures. This will also allow countless numbers to enjoy the healthy benefits of bananas and still keep their dignity.

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