Life Code

Okay, it has come to my attention that it’s been a while since we’ve posted anything here.  So, as I was browsing the Internet, I found a few insights about Life that I think you could use.

You’ve probably heard, or have said it yourself, that “Life is a Bitch”.
Well, I’m not gonna say it’s not. However, these few insights (which are purely sexual) that I’m gonna share with you here might give you a better handle of Life.

Ready?
Parental Advisory

  1. Before sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral: No one helps you once you’re fucked!
  2. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
  3. When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say “Congrats!”. But, none of them come and touch the man’s penis and say “Well done!”.
    Moral: Hard work is never appreciated. Only result matters.
  4. Life is like a dick. Sometimes it becomes hard for absolutely no reason. (Can’t say I disagree with that one)  :)And One more for the road:
  5.  A husband is supposed to make his wife’s panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband’s dick hard, not his life.

So, go ahead and meditate on them…!

It’s never too late to be who you might have been.

– Marie Anne Evans, a.k.a George Eliot

Success belongs to those who believe in the Power of Ideas.

– Michael Irvin

Success doesn’t come to you—you go to it.

-Marva Collins

Enter the Sanctum of Lies

Hi!
I want to talk to you about something that I think is very important.
I have seen that quite a few times…people simply believing something they’ve read on the Internet just because it was there, thinking it to be true (simply because it was on the Internet). And I thought I should write a little something about that.

Now, I am not saying that everything on the Internet is a lie. I surely am not saying that.
I am simply saying, just because something is on the Internet does not make it true.

Yes, the Internet is fun and there are some interesting information you can find there. But, that does not mean that everything there is true.
As an example: Did you know what Einstein said about Smart People?

Here is what he said:

False Einstein Quote

Now, of course, it’s very likely that Einstein may have had these sentiments. But at the same time, just because I have a quote with a certain picture of Einstein (or any other smart Mother Fucker, for that matter) does not make the quote his.

Here is another example of a seemingly quote of Einstein that I’ve seen people throwing around the Internet, that is most likely not his.

Albert-Einstein-Quote False

So, obviously, there is an important message to this quote. It is quite meaningful, of course. But, there is actually nothing of Einstein that would suggest he ever said anything like this.

Again, he could have had these sentiments. And I am quite capable of being wrong (despite my tendency to think the contrary). But, while this quote may be true, in terms of the message, it’s Obviously not so, in terms of the person it is attributed to.

Remember what Abraham Lincoln said about the Internet?

Abr Internet

Right?

Anyhow, this is something I thought you should know and consider. But, in case I haven’t made myself clear enough, I shall leave you with this short video. Perhaps, it will do a better job than Me.

To be true to one’s own Freedom is, in essence, to honor and respect the freedom of all others.

-Dwight D. Eisenhower

Freedom lies in being Bold

-Robert Frost-

In the Beginning was Grammar

I have, many times, seen people Torturing and Killing the English Language.

Heck… I have seen people killing every single one of the few Languages that I actually know. And being the kind of person that I am, I could not let that go on without saying anything. Therefore, I have decided to share some of my thoughts here:

  1. “You was” is not English!
    I don’t know where you got it from, but one does not simply say “You was”in front of me and get away with it.
  2. Should you feel the need to say “Aks” when you see the word “Ask”…Don’t.
    I would have thought it pretty obvious to anyone that the “s” comes before the “k”.
  3. “Can you please pass me this Shit?… No, the one that’s upon of that Shit” simply does not make sense.
    “Shit” is not an “All-Purpose” word. One does not simply use it to describe or name everything. Beside, we already have “Fuck” as a Magical Word…!  🙂
  4. Now, it has also come to my attention that some people read “Faux” as “Fox”.
    This is simply wrong, people!
    Here is a simple explanation that was hanging around Facebook the other day:
    Faux
  5. You do not say “I swear the God”. What sense does that make?
    The right wording of it is “I swear to God”.
    Now, don’t you see that makes more sense?

We are made of Language.

Heck..the whole of Reality is made of Language. We’re prisoners of that Multi-Dimensional Language. Language defines our experience of Reality.

“Let’s eat Grandma” is not the same thing as “Let’s eat, Grandma”. The more one pays attention to the Structure of Language, the more one realizes how it defines his/her experience of Reality.

Then, of course, I should not go without leaving you with this:

PS. If you hear a word and are not quite sure how it’s spelled, try researching it. If you already know it’s meaning, it would be even better.

You don’t want to use a word you don’t know the meaning of! You might end up using it in the wrong sentence or the wrong situation. And that is only telling me that you’re just Stupid.

So, as the good person that I seemingly am, I have to say that last thing:

“Lack Toast and Tolerant” is not a term. There is, in fact, a condition known as “Lactose Intolerance”.Just because it sounds like this is what you heard does not mean this is what it is.

This is just something I thought you should know…

Have yourself a Blast! And remember…Grammar Police are everywhere! 🙂

A Tattoo is worth a Thousand Words

I like seeing tattoos on people. I’d probably not have one myself…mostly due to the fact that I would not go through the trouble necessary to have a good tattoo. But, I like seeing them on people.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s cut to the chase and get down to business.

Here is what i really want to talk about:

If you’re going to have a tattoo—which, I’m assuming, you want to stay on you for all your life—there are a few things you need to pay attention to.

  1. You want your tattoo to say exactly what you’re trying to express. You don’t want to imply something other than what you want to share, do you?
  2. You want to make sure the Artist doing your tattoo is good at what he does.
    You certainly don’t want your tattoo to end up like this one:
    Tattoo 2Something tells me this was not what the person wanted.
    I mean, does this tattoo look like the picture to you?
  3. Get a Dictionary.
    You may have a good message to share. You may have something very profound to say. But, if you end up writing everything wrong, the only message you’ll be sending is that you’re extremely stupid.
    I’m going to take a guess and say “this is not what you want”.
    Well, this is exactly what happened to this Girl:
    TattooI mean…I’m sure she had something very valuable to say. But, I can’t seem to see past “You’re Dicisions Four today”.

Anyhow, if you like tattoos…more, if you like having them on your skin, or you’re thinking about getting your first, follow these simple rules and you should have a great tattoo to show your friends (or else).

On that note, I’m going to leave you to what you were doing.

Don’t stay here. Go do something.

Read a Book. Take Piano lessons.

Just Do something…! I know we’re addicting…trust me, I do. But, having a life counts too. You get to see another day and visit us again.

We’re not going anywhere!

Lying is an Art Form

I’ve always been told I could be a Liar…I mean, Lawyer.

Sorry! These two are so confusing sometimes that I get them confused . However, what I want to talk about right now is not “Lawyers”, but “Liars”.

Lying is an Art Form. It takes skills to be a good liar.

No, I’m not talking about the bunch of idiots who misuse the Art…I mean the ones whose words you can’t believe..the ones when they say “Good Morning” to you, you have to go outside, see if it’s really morning before you answer them.

No…I’m not talking about these suckers!

I’m talking about the Incredibly Talented Liars…the ones who are so pure, you can’t believe they would lie to you. These are the seemingly honest ones, because (let’s face it)…they are that Good!

 

Here are some basic principles for a good lie:

  1. It should not be too unrealistic.
    Unrealistic lies are basically SCREAMING what they are.
  2. If you’re going to lie, make sure that your lie is very close to what’s really possible. I’m talking about something the person you’re lying to would actually believe to be true about you (or whatever the heck you’re lying about)
  3. Keep it close to something that actually happened to you.
    You want your lie to be as Realistic as possible.
    A good lie is always that which that draws from the Truth.
    (Remember the serpent in the Garden?)…”Scratch that…this is better!” 🙂
  4. Don’t lie too often or people are going to start noticing.
    You don’t want people to start doubting you. The point of lying is for it to pass as truth. So, if people know you’re lying, this means you just missed your mark.
  5. Only use your best lies (if possible) in case of Emergency.
    Again, you don’t want to go around lying to every living being you see on your way.
    This is how you get caught.
  6. Look at your lie from every perspectives. Chances are, you can’t remember all the lies you’ve ever told. That means, at some point, somebody’s going to catch you in a lie. Seeing the lie from every perspective gives you a way out, in case you get caught.
    Let me be clearer with that part: If somebody catches you in a lie, you need to be able to defend yourself. You need to be able to lie your way out of that lie.
    (Yes, lies only conceive lies).
  7. If you actually believe it, it’s not a lie. So, that can always help.
  8. If it actually happened, but not when you said it did, it’s not a lie.
  9. Don’t exaggerate on your Resumé. You really don’t want this to happen to you:


These were some rules that I thought any good Liar should know. Now, don’y go saying I’ve never done anything for you!

No need to thank me. I know how useful this information was! 🙂